Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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