forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
