im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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