Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
No more Irish car bombs ever.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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