Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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