no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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