I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
