areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
