Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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