i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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