You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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