It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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