90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I just forgot I was standing up.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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