I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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