I have demons in me.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
