Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
