I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
