Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Randomize
