Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
