you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
