Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
