I look better un-naked...
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Alive.
So much puke
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
