The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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