At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
