Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
