Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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