if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
