i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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