You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
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