We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
