We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
