That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
