I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
