I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
it hurts more in the daytime
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
