Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Welp...herpes.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
