How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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