fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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