I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
