No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
