Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
