Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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