i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
