Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
