Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
