Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
