She said her name was "party"
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
