i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
