Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
