Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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