before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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